Dr. Abiola Salami's 'No More Shrinking' Challenges Women to Embrace Their Power
In her transformative book No More Shrinking: A Performance Tool for Women Who Are Done Playing Small, Dr. Abiola Salami delivers a powerful and deeply relatable exploration of the barriers that limit women in Nigerian society and beyond. This compelling work speaks directly to women who have unconsciously learned to reduce themselves due to societal conditioning, addressing the pervasive fear of being seen, heard, or considered too much.
The High Cost of Invisibility in Professional Spaces
Dr. Salami meticulously exposes how women are often encouraged to succeed quietly without drawing attention to their achievements, particularly in corporate environments, leadership roles, and public visibility. This lack of recognition frequently leads to missed opportunities despite years of hard work and excellence. The book inspires women to stop lowering their voices and to step fully into their authentic selves, reminding readers that they are not too small, not too loud, and not wrong for wanting more. Instead, Dr. Salami reinforces that women are powerful, capable, and deserving of space in every arena.
Through poignant narratives and practical lessons, the author demonstrates that shrinking may feel safe but comes at a significant cost. Every time a woman chooses silence out of fear or false humility, that space is often filled by someone else. The book encourages women to put themselves forward, to be seen, and to use their voices not only for personal growth but also to inspire other women across Nigeria.
Real Stories of Nigerian Women Breaking Barriers
The book opens with the story of Adanna, a Lagos-based corporate powerhouse serving as Head of Strategy at a top FMCG company. Despite her impressive achievements and global nomination for a prestigious summit, Adanna doubts herself and fears she doesn't belong in such elevated spaces. Her hesitation reflects a common experience for many high-achieving Nigerian women who struggle with visibility and self-belief despite their competence.
Through the encouragement of her friend Lola, Adanna realizes that shrinking feels comfortable but is ultimately expensive. Each time she hides, opportunities slip away, teaching her that humility should never require invisibility. This story sets the tone for the entire book, reminding women who have built strong foundations that this is not the time to lower their standards or dim their light, but to aim higher and claim their rightful place.
Challenging Cultural Norms and Political Barriers
Another powerful narrative features Zainab, a woman with deep political aspirations who faces repeated discouragement with claims that women don't hold space or authority in that field. Zainab challenges this belief head-on, holding firmly to the idea that silence in the face of suffering constitutes betrayal. Her story reframes ambition, making it clear that ambition is not arrogance and certainly not un-African.
Through Zainab's journey, the book highlights the resistance women face when they choose to be bold while reinforcing the importance of standing firm despite societal pushback. Dr. Salami also explores how many women build walls around themselves, believing more can be achieved behind closed doors, while arguing that real impact happens outside where women's voices, truths, and stories are desperately needed.
The Importance of Boundaries and Self-Care
The story of Tomi Ojo emphasizes the crucial importance of rest and boundaries, showing that trying to be everything to everyone often leads to burnout. The book reminds Nigerian women that rest is not weakness and that constantly pleasing others comes at the cost of self. As the narrative progresses, women come together at a summit where they confront who they were before the world told them who to be.
In that transformative space, they learn to take pride in their achievements and reclaim their voices. The moment they stop doubting themselves becomes the moment their silence turns into control, and their voices begin to carry genuine authority and influence.
Reclaiming Voice in Relationships and Opportunities
One of the book's most striking lessons is that love should never cost a woman her voice. Dr. Salami states unequivocally that any love that silences a woman is not love but control disguised as care. Through Adanna's relationship experiences, the book reveals how subtle discouragement and condescension can pressure women into believing success is best achieved quietly.
Adanna's decision to reject this belief and embrace public speaking and visibility becomes a bold act of self-affirmation and leadership. The book also addresses how not every opportunity is truly beneficial, as some open doors are polished traps requiring women to dim their values, silence their voices, or support broken systems.
The Power of Choosing Yourself
A recurring message throughout No More Shrinking is the fundamental importance of choosing oneself as a woman. No one else can make that decision for you. The book repeatedly reinforces the power women hold and how much they can achieve when they stop shrinking and start showing up fully.
Dr. Salami challenges societal expectations that have limited women's growth for generations, encouraging courage over fear and reminding readers that being liked is not a prerequisite for leadership or success. As the author powerfully states, speaking up does not make a woman difficult—it makes her visible. This book serves as both mirror and map for Nigerian women ready to expand into their full potential.
