A newly married Nigerian medical doctor based in the United Kingdom, Chioma Adanne, has publicly outlined her firm non-negotiable principles for her marriage, sparking conversations about tradition and modernity. Her approach emphasizes core values of equality, independence, mutual respect, and unwavering fidelity, challenging conventional norms in many Nigerian cultural settings.
Rejecting Traditional Customs
Chioma, who recently tied the knot with her husband Chris, made it clear that their union did not involve certain customary practices. Specifically, she revealed that no bride price was paid for her, and she did not kneel to offer palm wine to her husband during their traditional wedding ceremony. This stance highlights a deliberate move away from rituals often seen as symbolic of patriarchal structures.
Core Principles of Equality
In her detailed post, Chioma articulated several key points that define her marriage philosophy. She stressed that her husband understands and embraces the concept of equal rights for all human beings. According to her, any man who believes leadership in a relationship stems solely from gender has what she describes as a psychological issue—delusion of grandeur. She emphasized marrying an adult partner who views her as an equal, not someone with such outdated mentalities.
Shared Responsibilities and Decisions
The doctor further explained that household chores are either shared between both partners or outsourced, rejecting the notion of fixed 50:50 splits in favor of contributing based on individual capabilities. Decision-making is a collaborative process, where issues are tabled, discussed, and resolved through mutual agreement or by adopting the superior idea. This extends to family planning, with Chioma noting that the number of children they have will be her decision, and any offspring will bear both parents' names.
Additional Non-Negotiables
Chioma's list includes several other firm boundaries. She retains full autonomy over whether to add her husband's surname to her name, ensuring her whole identity remains intact. Fidelity is paramount, with cheating explicitly stated as a deal-breaker in their relationship. She also highlighted that her husband is committed to sharing all parenting duties equally, from bathing and feeding to changing diapers, beyond just the pregnancy itself.
By choosing a court wedding and a traditional ceremony on her own terms, Chioma Adanne's story reflects a growing trend among modern Nigerian couples who seek to blend cultural heritage with progressive values, prioritizing partnership over tradition.
