A Nigerian woman's candid observation about a common marital dynamic has set social media ablaze, sparking a heated debate about communication, respect, and gender roles within marriages.
TikTok Post Highlights a Common Marital Frustration
The conversation began when a TikTok user with the handle @mummychika1 shared a video expressing her personal view on how some married men handle advice from their spouses. In the video, posted online and widely circulated, she posed a poignant question to her followers.
She described a scenario where a wife offers a suggestion or piece of advice to her husband when a problem arises, only to have him disregard it. However, if one of his male friends later offers the exact same advice, the husband is quick to act on it. "They no go wan do am o," she said, highlighting the frustration. "But if his friends advise him... you will see him rushing to do it."
The woman questioned whether she was alone in this experience, asking other women if they shared the same table with her, and called for a change in such behavior because it "doesn't make sense." Her post, shared on January 9, 2026, quickly transcended her personal account, becoming a focal point for a national discussion on marital dynamics.
Nigerians React: Shared Experiences and Divergent Perspectives
The video triggered an avalanche of mixed reactions in the comments section, with Nigerians from various walks of life sharing deeply personal anecdotes from their own relationships.
Many users echoed the original poster's sentiments, confirming it as a widespread issue. User @Faith shared, "My dear we day the same thing. My husband rather listen to other people advice than mine … so at this point i have stop advising." Another, @Nelly, adopted a similar stance: "I used to help out when the repercussion arises but I’ve stop all together, advice I no dey give and problem I no dey solve again."
The consequences of ignoring a spouse's counsel were starkly illustrated by @Courage, who recounted a painful financial loss: "Same here, that’s how they scammed him 500 thousand. He was so scared to tell me because I warned him." @Love Notes pointed out the shared burden of bad decisions: "And when it backfires, it’s both of you will bear the consequences and not those his friends."
Some comments offered psychological interpretations. @Kachi suggested, "It usually means the person doesn’t value your intelligence or your way or sense of judgement." However, not all experiences were negative. User @UJUNWA4 praised her husband's reliance on her: "My husband no dea listen to anybody o until his plan fails then he goes with mine. He doesn’t ask friends or family members for advice except me." @Midey kiddies luxury Abeokuta also couldn't relate, stating she and her husband plan things together.
Communication Strategies and Alternative Viewpoints
A significant thread in the debate focused on how advice is delivered, suggesting the issue might be rooted in communication style rather than outright dismissal. Several users advised a shift from a directive tone to a more suggestive or collaborative approach.
@CocoAndFam shared her successful method: "My husband actually listens to me, I don’t say it like an advice instead more like a suggestion. Like 'baby this your idea is nice, but if u do it like this or like that, it could bring a different outcome.'"
User @Believer offered a detailed strategy, advising women to frame suggestions within appreciation for their husband's leadership. "Try to change method. Instead of Advising, kind of Suggest, appreciate his idea then table yours... Sometimes when we dey talk and they’re Ignoring it hurts so we don’t know when we start sounding authoritative," she noted, referencing the common male retort: "She’s right but I don’t like her tone." @Charles Ebube similarly advised, "Why don't you just change how you communicate to him, and don't make it feel like you are attacking him."
The debate also included a dose of blunt realism, with user @gift_unfiltereddd humorously commenting, "This una marriage sha. You no go talk to your husband, you go come dey talk to us. We no really send you for here."
The viral discussion was reported by Legit.ng and written by Ajifa Solomon, their Human Interest and Diaspora Editor. The incident underscores the ongoing negotiations around communication, mutual respect, and partnership in modern Nigerian marriages, proving that a single social media post can open a vital window into shared societal experiences.
