In a powerful reflection on personal finance and mental well-being, luxury real estate advisor and women's financial freedom advocate, Sarah Stephen, has issued a crucial reminder to Nigerians: your self-worth is not your net worth. Published on 3 January 2026 in the Guardian Woman section, her message cuts through the noise of a materialistic world to address a fundamental error in self-perception.
The Unstable Anchor of Money
Stephen defines self-worth as the intrinsic belief in our own value, a quality that stands completely apart from external achievements, validation, or financial standing. It is unconditional and stable. In contrast, she highlights the real and significant dangers of anchoring our sense of self to our net worth. The core risk, she argues, is that money is inherently variable.
The annual ritual of reviewing finances—sifting through income, expenses, and investments—can often yield disappointing results. While this process can act as a valuable mirror, revealing the roots of our financial struggles, Stephen is adamant that our financial outcomes do not define our value. Life is a complex series of cycles, growth, and loss influenced by countless external factors that a simple balance sheet cannot capture.
You Are the Constant in a Sea of Change
"Money is forever changing," Stephen writes, making it impossible to tether any part of our self-worth to it. The one true constant in the tumultuous ocean of fluctuating finances is who we are as people. Allowing our self-esteem to be dragged down by the changing tides of the market is a losing game. A balance sheet is not a crystal ball for future potential; it is a dangerous metric for personal value.
She cautions that even the most financially savvy individuals will face disappointment when investment conditions shift. History may rhyme, but it doesn't repeat exactly; we are never in the same financial position year to year. However, Stephen notes that familiar, negative themes about self-perception do recur, especially during tough economic times.
Patience and Perspective as True Currency
Her advice to investors underscores a broader life principle: patience is a great advantage that often leads to long-term success. She urges a shift in focus from "what we have" to "who we are." This mental move helps us extract ourselves from the financial equation, allowing us to view our self-worth as a separate and protected entity.
While an upward spiral in net worth can feel unstoppable and temporarily boost confidence, that feeling is fleeting. Stephen encourages readers to "step out of our money shadows," explaining that the shadow—blocking the light—is not part of our true identity. We may be carrying outdated narratives that no longer serve us.
Building wealth, she concludes, should be a journey of growth, trial, and failure—not a source of haunting anxiety. The final, resonant call is to start viewing life through a new lens, firmly internalizing the truth that our self-worth is not, and never should be, our net worth.
