It is a profound and confusing moment when you realise the job you fought so hard to get now fills you with dread. For many professionals in Nigeria, this realisation hits with a unique force, blending frustration with a deep sense of guilt. You are not broken, and this is not failure. It is a signal that something in your current reality needs to change.
The Weight of Disillusionment and the Need to Grieve
This feeling often arrives subtly—the tightness in your chest on a Sunday evening, the hopeless stare at your laptop screen before noon, the constant drain. You invested years of labour, prayer, and job hunting to secure this position, defending your choice to sceptics. Now, despising it feels like a betrayal of your own ambition.
The first, crucial step is to permit yourself to grieve. We rarely discuss the sorrow of outgrowing a dream. This job represented more than income; it was a symbol of hope, proof of your capability, and the embodiment of an ambitious, determined version of yourself. Mourning the excitement of the application, the pride of the first day, and the future you envisioned is not only allowed but necessary. It acknowledges that while the job technically "worked," it failed to deliver the fulfilment you expected.
Diagnosing the Discontent: Is It the Job or You?
Before making drastic decisions, pause and analyse the root cause with curiosity. Often, it is not the core role you hate, but what it has evolved into within the Nigerian context.
- Perhaps the workload has become unmanageable, while compensation has not kept pace.
- The work environment may have turned toxic, leaving you perpetually on edge.
- You might have simply outgrown the role, with no visible path for growth or promotion.
- The job could be demanding parts of your personality or time that you are no longer willing to sacrifice.
It is vital to understand that your values shift. The dream might have been forged in a season where survival, security, and proving your worth were paramount. Now that those are somewhat met, you may crave balance, peace, and autonomy. This evolution is natural and does not invalidate your past choices.
Strategic Steps Forward: From Reality Check to Redefinition
Avoid the temptation of a panic-quit. In a challenging economic climate, rash decisions can be costly. Instead, ground yourself in a practical reality check. Shift your question from "How do I escape?" to "What can I change without imploding my life?"
Consider if you can negotiate workload or boundaries, take a legitimate break, or quietly build new skills on the side. The goal is to reduce the emotional weight you attach to the job while strategically planning your next move. An exit is always better when it is planned, not impulsive.
Furthermore, stop pressuring yourself with the overwhelming question, "What is my passion?" Ask gentler, more practical ones instead:
- What kind of workplace stress can I reasonably tolerate?
- What tasks drain my energy the fastest?
- What environment allows me to feel a sense of progress?
Clarity often comes from understanding your limits and noticing what makes your body relax or tense up.
Redefining Success for Your Current Season
Finally, give yourself permission to redefine what success means for you now. In a society where job titles heavily influence perceived worth, this is challenging but liberating. Hating your dream job is not a sign of laziness; it signals a misalignment between your work and your current needs.
Success at one life stage—marked by relentless ambition and visibility—can feel suffocating in another. For this season, success might look like stability, peace of mind, or a role that pays the bills without consuming your soul. You are allowed to want ease. You are allowed to change your mind.
This dream job was a chapter, not a life sentence. Acknowledging it no longer fits does not erase the effort, discipline, or intelligence it took to get there. It simply means you are listening to yourself more closely now. Honesty, however uncomfortable, is the first step toward building a life that fits the person you have become.
