Experts in marriage counselling and emotional wellbeing have identified a troubling trend behind Nigeria's increasing divorce rates. They point to a growing culture of rushed and emotionally unprepared unions among the nation's youth as the primary culprit.
The Alarming Data and Expert Warnings
This critical issue was brought to the forefront at the inaugural Single Ladies Conference Abuja 1.0. Speakers at the event, including convener Mary Chinda and Cecilia Agu, Founder of Bedroom Matters International, issued stark warnings. They stated that this trend is directly contributing to a surge in avoidable domestic conflicts, gender-based violence, and severe emotional strain within homes.
The experts' concerns are backed by hard data. A 2024 report from Divorce.com, a U.S.-based resource platform, placed Nigeria among countries with high divorce rates globally. The data revealed that Nigeria ranked 11th out of 26 nations surveyed for the highest incidence of divorce.
Root Causes: Pressure and Lack of Self-Awareness
Mary Chinda provided a deep analysis of the problem's origins. She argued that many women enter marriage without the necessary stability, self-awareness, or clarity to build a lasting partnership. "If the woman is empowered as a single person, she knows herself, her worth and her value," Chinda explained. "It is then easier to choose an empowered, healed and whole man before getting married and forming a beautiful family."
She traced many marital breakdowns to unresolved personal issues and societal pressure. "Marital pressure pushes women into marriages they are not prepared for," she cautioned. "When a woman rushes in without clarity, it contributes to increasing reports of abuse, divorce and even suicide. Healing and self-knowledge must come first."
Solutions: Emotional Preparedness and Shared Values
The conference emphasized that building stronger families starts with individuals who are emotionally grounded before committing. Cecilia Agu highlighted that affection alone is insufficient to sustain a marriage. "Marriage works when two people love God, share visions, and are committed to forgiving and supporting each other," she stated.
Agu linked the rising divorce rate directly to poor partner selection and a deficit in essential relationship skills. She urged couples to move beyond relying solely on prayer. "Prayer works, but you must also understand communication, emotional intelligence and accountability. If you don’t talk to each other, someone else will," she warned.
While acknowledging the role of economic hardship, Chinda maintained that personal responsibility is key. "The economy is tough, but choosing to be responsible is not dependent on government. Men must strive, be hardworking, and become the responsible leaders God created them to be," she asserted.
The consensus among all speakers was clear: empowering single individuals, particularly women, with self-knowledge and emotional health is the foundational step toward reversing the tide of marital instability and creating healthier, more resilient Nigerian families.
