Across Nigeria and the wider world, a quiet revolution is taking place as older women consciously choose to remain single rather than enter into new marriages. This trend represents a significant shift in societal values, where marriage was once considered the ultimate life goal but is now viewed as just one option among many.
The New Era of Female Independence
Nollywood actress Wumi Toriola perfectly captured this emerging sentiment during an April 2025 interview when she stated: "I'm not interested in getting married now, but I want to have more babies with my ex-husband." She emphasized that marriage represents a serious commitment that shouldn't be rushed into only to escape later. Many women today are prioritizing peace, freedom, and self-awareness over meeting societal expectations.
Groundbreaking research from University of Toronto psychology researchers confirms this trend, revealing that single women generally report higher happiness levels than single men. The study found women experienced greater life satisfaction, maintained stronger friendships, and even reported better sex lives. Notably, they also expressed less desire for partners, suggesting that women gain more from autonomy than attachment as they age.
Four Key Reasons Driving This Choice
1. Independence and Personal Autonomy
For numerous older Nigerian women, independence has become non-negotiable. After years of managing family responsibilities, they deeply value the freedom to live life according to their own terms. Living alone provides complete control over daily decisions—from meal choices to travel plans and daily schedules. Many describe this phase as "me time," where they can freely relocate, change careers, travel extensively, or simply enjoy peace at home without needing to consult anyone.
2. Financial Security and Empowerment
Financial independence represents one of the most transformative changes for contemporary women. Unlike previous generations, many older single women now possess their own income streams, assets, and retirement plans. This economic self-sufficiency fundamentally alters their relationship dynamics—they no longer require marriage for financial stability. In many cases, remarriage could actually complicate their carefully managed finances. Instead, they can pursue relationships purely for genuine joy and emotional connection.
3. Protecting Emotional Peace
Life experience brings clarity, and many older single women have endured emotionally draining or unfulfilling relationships. Whether surviving toxic marriages or recovering from the exhaustion of loss, they've learned to value inner peace above all else. They prefer singlehood over compromising their happiness or personal identity again. After decades of caring for others, they now prioritize self-care and emotional well-being.
4. Redefining Personal Fulfillment
Modern fulfillment looks dramatically different from traditional expectations. Older single women are discovering joy through personal growth, travel experiences, hobbies, spiritual practices, and deep friendships rather than seeking validation solely through marriage. Studies consistently show that single women report higher quality of life, stronger social networks, and greater satisfaction with their independence compared to their male counterparts.
A Conscious Choice for Self-Discovery
This growing trend among older women choosing not to remarry stems from positive self-discovery rather than bitterness or rejection. Many are finally choosing themselves, building lives rich with meaning, authentic friendships, and personal freedom. For those who've previously experienced marriage, the appeal of remarrying often diminishes—they've lived through both the joys and challenges of married life, and for many, that chapter feels complete. Some prefer companionship without the legal complexities, paperwork, and expectations that formal marriage entails.
The movement represents a fundamental shift in how Nigerian women perceive their self-worth and life purpose, demonstrating that happiness and fulfillment can be found in various life paths beyond traditional marriage.
