Nigerian Woman Insists Husband's Love Endures Despite Secret Second Marriage
A Nigerian woman, identified as Haleema, is making headlines for her steadfast belief that her husband still loves her deeply, even after he entered into a second marriage without informing her. According to Haleema, her husband explained that he married the second wife out of pity, a move she interprets as proof of his undying love for her.
She further cited another example to support her claim: her husband does not answer phone calls from the second wife when Haleema is present. This behavior, she argues, demonstrates his prioritization of their relationship and his ongoing affection.
Marriage Therapist Challenges Notion of Love in Secret Union
However, marriage therapist Shamseddin Giwa offers a contrasting perspective, asserting that the husband's actions do not align with the principles of true love. In a detailed response, Giwa emphasized that genuine love is characterized by kindness, honesty, and transparency.
"Dear Haleema, I’m sorry marriage has turned this way for you," he wrote. Giwa explained that while one cannot fully know another's mind, behavior is a reliable indicator. He pointed out that marrying someone in secrecy lacks the honesty and transparency essential to love, even in cultures where polygyny is permissible.
Giwa highlighted several concerns:
- The secrecy of the marriage contradicts the values of kindness and fairness.
- Equity is a cornerstone of permissible polygyny, yet reports suggest the second wife lives in a larger house than Haleema, despite Haleema having grown-up children.
- The husband's narrative of marrying out of pity may be a cover, as marriage should be based on attraction and care, not just compassion.
He also noted that the husband's recent attempts at intimacy might stem from guilt rather than love, and that some men keep such marriages secret due to misguided advice from peers, believing it spares their first wife trauma.
Ultimately, Giwa concluded that nothing in this situation points to love, urging a reevaluation based on actions rather than words. The story, originally reported by Linda Ikeji, continues to spark discussions about marriage, trust, and cultural norms in Nigeria.
