Media executive Fu'ad Lawal has declared that the first two years of marriage are the most vulnerable to collapse, drawing a parallel between marital unions and early-stage startups. Speaking in a candid conversation, Lawal argued that just as many tech ventures fail due to inflexible strategies, marriages risk disintegration when partners refuse to adapt their personal expectations.
Marriage as a Startup: High Risk of Early Failure
Lawal stated, "I think that the first two years of marriage, it's like the first two years of a startup, right? It's like all things being equal, if everyone enters that marriage with some real leverage as individuals, there's a high chance it will fail." He emphasized that the initial period is fraught with clashes as two distinct individuals attempt to forge a shared life, and the primary obstacle is the unwillingness of either party to compromise.
According to Lawal, many couples enter marriage armed with a rigid list of rules and expectations for their partners. "Everybody enters marriage and says, 'Oh, my wife cannot do this, my husband must not do this,'" he noted. True compatibility, he explained, is tested when the initial excitement fades and couples must navigate the friction of differing daily realities.
Observation of Failed Marriages
Reflecting on his observations, Lawal remarked that every marriage he knew that ended within the first two years shared a common trait: "Every single marriage I know that ended in the first two years was everybody, nobody wanted to fold. Like you must fold. Like someone must... someone is always folding." He stressed that at least one partner must be willing to yield for the relationship to survive.
Drawing from management theory, Lawal outlined the stages of team development—forming, storming, norming, and performing—and applied them to marriage. He said relationships begin with a forming stage of excitement, then move into storming where personalities collide. If couples compromise, they progress to norming and eventually performing effectively. "All teams go through the same stages of evolution... the first stage is forming... the next stage is always storming because those ideas start to collide," he explained.
Personal Growth Through Marriage
Lawal shared that marriage has profoundly improved his communication skills. "The biggest thing that marriage did to me was actually improving my communication style across board," he said. His comments have sparked widespread online discussion, with many agreeing that the early years test patience, communication, and willingness to meet halfway. However, some argued that every marriage is unique and challenges do not follow a fixed timeline.
