I can hardly forget the story of a man who thought he was a strict disciplinarian, while his family members viewed him as an oppressor and a dictator. As he disciplined his children, believing it was for their benefit, they saw him as a dark shadow that oppressed and tormented them.
A Case of Misguided Discipline
I recall an incident where the children, some teenagers, accidentally damaged the knob of the television set in the living room. Furious and determined to punish them, the man disconnected the TV and locked it in his room as a consequence. I found the matter amusing when it was brought to my attention and promptly advised him to return the television to the living room. Oppressing a household is vastly different from ensuring discipline.
Where Many Parents Go Wrong
This is where many fathers and mothers err. They believe they are enforcing discipline and instilling life values, yet their children perceive them as oppressors. Through my years of marriage counseling, I have lost count of the number of children who have walked through my office doors believing the worst of their parents. Many have told me how wicked and cruel their parents are, but the irony is that the parents often have no idea what their children think of them.
The Golden Rule for Parenting
How can you ensure your children genuinely love and respect you, even when you discipline them? The answer lies in the golden rule given by our Lord Jesus: “And just as you want men to do to you, you also do to them likewise” (Luke 6:31). Consider how you would have wanted to be disciplined when you were your child’s age. It is not enough to impose rules and punishments; there must be a place for understanding the feelings of the child being parented. Love you!
• Bishop Charles Ighele is the General Superintendent of Holy Spirit Mission, Lagos.
