Na'ima Afemai, a Nigerian woman, has opened up about her failed marriage, stating that had she not left, she would have been miserable, overly religious, and a frequent patient at hospitals and pharmacies, constantly buying medication for recurring infections. In a post on Wednesday, July 1, 2026, she expressed gratitude for mustering the courage to walk out, prioritizing self-respect over societal expectations despite her young age.
A Life Saved by Leaving
“Sometimes, I sit and wonder what my life would have looked like if I was still married,” she wrote. “I know for a fact I'd have had a miserable life. I know for a fact that I'd have been a religious, wicked pickme woman with maybe two children. I know for a fact that I'd have been living life trying to please Adam wey no send my papa like that. I know for a fact that I'd have been a returning patient to hospitals and pharmacies, buying infection medication here and there. Infact, I fit don contact HIV or hepatitis b.”
Gratitude for Courage
She recalled the day she packed out, saying, “Everyday, I look back and I thank the courage that surrounded me the day I packed out. I didn't know where I got the audacity from that day but I did it. I look back and I am grateful I didn't stay to 'manage' because no marriage is perfect.” Afemai emphasized that she now has control over her life and is the driver of her own destiny. “I look back and I am happy that I have control over my life and that I am the driver of my life and no one else. I look back and I am pleased that I chose myself. I put myself first despite being a very young girl then.”
Lessons Learned from Experience
She also noted that if she had not experienced marriage earlier, she would have remained a “pickme” desperate to be married, ignoring feminist advice. “I'd definitely be online fighting feminists for teaching me how to know my worth and have standards. I am truly grateful for every single thing. And if I had not experienced marriage earlier in life, I'd have still being a pickme looking to be picked. I'd have been desperate to be married and nothing feminist tell me not to be desperate will ever enter my ears because they are just haters and unhappy women. But now that I have had my own experience and share, when they talk, I quickly grasp and understand what they are saying because I have been there before.”
Embracing the Past
Afemai concluded, “I am very much grateful for the experience of my failed marriage and I'd never trade that experience for anything!” Her story resonates with many women who face societal pressure to stay in unhealthy marriages, highlighting the importance of self-worth and courage.
