The Art of Being Single and Genuinely Happy in Nigeria
In Nigeria, being single is often viewed as a transitional phase or a period of waiting, but this perspective overlooks the profound opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment that singlehood offers. This article explores how to genuinely enjoy being single while navigating the unique societal pressures present in Nigerian culture.
Understanding Societal Pressures on Singles in Nigeria
Single individuals in Nigeria frequently encounter well-meaning but intrusive comments from family members, friends, and even strangers. At family gatherings, aunties might inquire about when you will bring a man home, while wedding MCs often make jokes about your turn coming soon. Additionally, religious settings sometimes amplify these pressures, with pastors offering special prayers for single ladies, subtly signaling to single brothers in the congregation.
These societal expectations can lead to feelings of loneliness or desperation for companionship. However, shifting your mindset is the first step toward embracing singlehood as a valuable chapter in life.
Shifting Your Mindset: Singlehood as an Opportunity
Many people are raised with the belief that being single means something is missing, that you are incomplete until someone chooses you. This narrative is limiting because being single is an experience in its own right. It is not a pause button or a waiting period but a season to know yourself, build your skills, achieve personal goals, and live freely before external expectations intervene.
To truly enjoy singlehood, rewire your brain to see it as a time for clarity, freedom, emotional healing, and constructing a life you will be proud to share with someone if love arrives. Here are practical steps to help you thrive while single.
How to Be Single and Genuinely Happy: A Comprehensive Checklist
- Build a Life You Are Excited to Wake Up To
- Create energizing routines, such as a morning playlist, reading inspiring books, gym sessions, night walks, cooking experiments, photography, pottery, running, traveling, or joining reading clubs.
- Romanticize your daily life by making intentional choices, even simple ones like buying suya from your local vendor.
- Nurture Meaningful Friendships
- Prioritize solid friendships that provide emotional support, laughter, and understanding.
- Host hangouts, go on friend dates, and celebrate each other's achievements to create a social circle that feels like home.
- Achieve Financial Stability and Personal Growth
- Focus on building a realistic budget, starting an emergency fund, learning basic investing, and exploring career opportunities or side hustles.
- Financial confidence allows you to make relationship choices based on desire rather than necessity.
- Prioritize Emotional Healing
- Identify your triggers, patterns, needs, and boundaries. Work on healing old wounds and developing emotional maturity.
- Consider therapy if accessible, or try journaling as an alternative for self-reflection.
- Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company
- Take yourself on solo dates, such as eating alone, walking in nature, or dressing up for an outing. Comfort with your own presence is key to self-love.
- Engage in Activities That Excite You
- Fill your life with hobbies like dance classes, yoga, pottery, reading, or brunch dates with friends to rejuvenate your spirit.
- Create a Peaceful Home Environment
- Transform your living space into a sanctuary by decluttering, adding plants, lighting candles, or playing soothing music to foster clarity and relaxation.
- Set and Pursue Personal Goals
- Write down goals related to financial stability, career growth, fitness, or spirituality, and break them into manageable steps to build confidence and self-respect.
- Detach Your Self-Worth from Relationships
- Recognize that your worth is inherent and not dependent on being chosen by someone. Celebrate your ideas, resilience, ambition, and humor as complete on your own.
- Stay Open to Love Without Desperation
- Be open to relationships but avoid putting your life on hold. Date with intention and curiosity, rather than fear of being alone.
- Explore Your Identity Outside of Romance
- Discover what genuinely interests you, what values guide your decisions, and the energy you bring to spaces independent of romantic relationships.
- Take Care of Your Body
- Practice self-love through exercise, rest, healthy eating, skincare, and dressing well to honor your body's role in your overall well-being.
- Celebrate Your Achievements
- Hype yourself by buying something nice, taking yourself out, or spoiling yourself to acknowledge your wins without waiting for external validation.
- Embrace the Freedom of Singlehood
- Enjoy the autonomy to make decisions about your time, money, and peace without compromise. Use this freedom to explore new experiences and prioritize yourself.
In summary, singlehood in Nigeria is a chapter filled with possibilities for self-discovery, bold building, and intentional growth. By embracing these practices, you can cultivate a fulfilling life that prepares you to love and be loved with purpose, all while navigating societal pressures with grace and confidence.
