When a relationship ends, that lingering feeling in your chest that keeps you awake at night—whether you're turning eba, binge-watching movies, or posting emotional quotes on your social media stories—signals the absence of closure. According to relationship expert Gloria Adesanya, this emotional resolution is crucial for finding peace and breathing freely after a breakup.
The True Meaning of Relationship Closure
Closure in relationships represents that deep emotional understanding and the answers you seek after a romantic connection concludes. It goes beyond simply hearing "we're over" and involves processing your feelings, comprehending the reasons behind the separation, and ultimately accepting the outcome.
Without proper closure, your relationship remains unfinished in your mind, leaving numerous questions and "what if" scenarios that significantly impact your emotional well-being. For many Nigerians, this means constantly replaying the relationship through WhatsApp status updates, rereading old chats, monitoring Instagram stories, or staring at photographs from better times.
Why Closure Matters for Emotional Health
Closure serves several vital functions in your healing journey. It prevents emotional carryover, where past pain affects future relationships. It promotes mental health by reducing anxiety and constant rumination about what went wrong. Closure also builds self-awareness, helping you understand what didn't work so you can establish healthier relationship boundaries moving forward.
Perhaps most importantly, closure encourages forgiveness, allowing you to release resentment and free your mind from negative emotions that can hinder your personal growth and future happiness.
Practical Steps to Achieve Closure
Adesanya recommends several approaches to finding closure after a breakup. Begin with honest reflection through journaling or conversations with trusted friends. This helps process unresolved emotions and provides clarity while relieving emotional weight.
If possible, have a calm conversation with your ex-partner. Ask reflective questions like "What led us to this point?" or "What didn't work between us?" rather than emotionally charged questions about their current love life or past regrets.
Setting clear boundaries is essential. Limit contact and remove reminders of your ex from social media. Delete photos, unfollow accounts, and consider blocking or deleting contacts if necessary. This empowers you to control your healing environment.
Focus on self-growth through hobbies, passions, and established routines. Channel your emotional energy into productive activities and concentrate on building the life you want. Sometimes, closure comes from within by accepting what you cannot control rather than seeking external answers.
Closure Versus Moving Forward
It's crucial to distinguish between closure and simply moving on. While a breakup marks the end of a romantic connection, closure represents the emotional resolution that follows. Think of breaking up as closing a door, while closure provides the key that unlocks your emotional freedom on the other side.
Sometimes, moving forward without traditional closure can be more empowering than waiting for explanations from someone else. When you choose to move on without closure, you reclaim your peace, invest energy in yourself rather than someone else's choices, and build resilience in facing life's uncertainties.
Whether through reflection, conversation, or simply allowing time to pass, the ultimate goal remains emotional freedom and the ability to embrace new beginnings with a healed heart and clearer perspective.
