A Nigerian woman has shared a deeply emotional video online where she broke down in tears while speaking about the mental and emotional stress she experienced during the process of building her own house. The video, which has gone viral, highlights the often-overlooked psychological toll of construction projects, particularly for women.
The Hidden Struggles Behind Building a Home
In the video posted on TikTok by a user identified as @dibuseng1, the lady explained that many people only see the finished building but do not understand the depression, anxiety, and financial pressure that come with the construction process. She described how the constant rise in material prices and repeated calls from workers about shortages affected her deeply.
"No one talks about the depression that comes while building. Material is so expensive, labour and all. I used to cry every time when they call me and tell me we have a shortage of something," she said in the video, her voice trembling with emotion.
Women Share Similar Experiences of Exploitation
The video sparked massive reactions from social media users, especially women who shared similar struggles in the comment section. Many revealed how builders exploited them, stole materials, and disrespected them because they were women.
One user shared how completing a house left her financially and emotionally drained. "I have a house yes with nothing inside. I managed to finish building but I sit on the floor, eat on the floor. People see me like I have money because of the house, not knowing I am totally broke and depressed, only hiding my sorrows with a smile and makeup," she wrote.
Specific Cases of Disrespect and Financial Strain
Another user, @Nomercy, spoke about building a house for her mother and feeling unsupported. "I’m struggling with my mom’s house. It is finished left with kitchen units, couch, bathrooms and fence/wall with gate, but my mom is not helping. I don’t know where her salary is going. That’s where I learnt and had to admit the hardest truth: my mom is useless," she said.
@nthabisengbenade added, "And when you are a woman alone, those people will destroy you. Doing shabby job, wasting your material, and wanting money every day. I’m not finished yet, still have tiling, ceiling and bathrooms to finish, but I’m so nervous and anxious it is unbelievable."
Emotional Toll of Disrespect and Financial Pressure
A young woman, @Layla Poulten, described the emotional toll of disrespect and financial strain. "Whole year last year, I was depressed and crying. The disrespect I got from the builders because I’m a young woman, some will even steal my things and just decide I have to pay more or they’re not working. It’s very draining shame, plus I’m not making enough money at work. If something is short, I will have to wait until month end, and the neighbours were so vile to me because how could a child do all these things. Little do they know I was dying inside, but believe me, it’s gonna be worth it in the end my love. You just need to hang in there, and I’m so proud of you for taking this big step," she wrote.
Advice from Social Media Users
Some users offered advice based on their experiences. @luckie suggested early planning: "I think it’s best to buy materials a year before you gonna start building. That helps, and save money for a builder. But if you gonna build with salary like buying things every time you get paid while they building, that will be a problem and stressful."
Another commenter, @Ohkaykay, warned that shortages are sometimes theft: "Sometimes it’s not shortage, it’s theft. You need to place a family member or someone you can trust at the building site 24/7."
Contrasting Story: Man Builds Dream Home
Meanwhile, a young Nigerian man went viral after showcasing his newly completed dream home on TikTok. He shared before-and-after footage of the building process, thanking God for the achievement. The video attracted praise and prayers online, with viewers congratulating him and wishing similar success, highlighting a different narrative in the construction experience.
Broader Implications for Mental Health and Gender
This story sheds light on the significant mental health challenges associated with building a house in Nigeria, particularly for women who face additional barriers such as exploitation and disrespect. Social media users noted that owning a house does not always mean wealth, as many builders end up silently battling depression. The emotional and financial strains can lead to prolonged stress, anxiety, and even clinical depression, underscoring the need for better support systems and awareness in the construction industry.
The viral video and subsequent discussions emphasize the importance of addressing these hidden struggles, promoting mental health resources, and advocating for fair treatment of women in construction projects. As more people share their stories, it becomes clear that building a home is not just a physical endeavor but an emotional journey that requires resilience and community support.
