Nigerian Woman's Candid Advice to Married Women on Intimacy Issues
A Nigerian Muslim woman, Hussaina Sufyan Ahmed, has sparked a conversation with her direct advice to married women who are experiencing sexual deprivation in their marriages. In a video that has gained significant attention, she addresses what she describes as a common but often unspoken issue in many relationships.
The Core Argument: Biological Needs and Infidelity Concerns
Ahmed presents a straightforward argument based on what she considers biological reality. She asserts that a healthy man naturally possesses a high sexual drive, making it biologically improbable for him to abstain from physical intimacy for extended periods such as weeks or months without underlying reasons.
According to her perspective, when a husband claims to be too tired, stressed, or overworked to engage sexually with his wife, this explanation often masks a different truth. She suggests that in many cases, the man has simply exhausted his energy on what she refers to as a "side chick" or extra-marital partner.
Practical Advice for Wives
The woman offers what she describes as practical advice for wives facing this situation. She encourages women to take proactive measures in their marital relationships rather than passively accepting deprivation.
Her controversial recommendation involves what she terms "misusing your property" when husbands return home. By this, she means that wives should assert their sexual needs so vigorously that their husbands might "limp to work" the following day, thereby teaching them a lesson about neglecting marital intimacy.
Biological Justification and Social Commentary
Ahmed grounds her advice in biological claims about male sexuality. She argues that men cannot realistically abstain from sexual activity for prolonged periods due to what she describes as "blue balls" – discomfort from lack of ejaculation – and the persistent memory of sexual experiences that doesn't easily fade, especially for non-virgins.
She challenges the common excuses married men provide for avoiding intimacy with their wives, stating: "A married man will leave his wife and not copulate with her for weeks or months and claim it is because he is busy at work and mentally unhealthy. However, it is a sorry situation to know that most of the time, he is only tired simply because he has exhausted his energy on his extra marital partner."
The Warning Against Being "Too Understanding"
Perhaps her most memorable phrase warns women against what she sees as excessive understanding in marriage. She cautions: "As a wife, I won’t advise you but I believe while you’re the legal one, you should not allow cobwebs manifest in your ? simply because you have decided to be an understanding wife."
This metaphorical warning suggests that neglect of physical intimacy can lead to deterioration in the marital relationship, comparable to cobwebs forming in unused spaces.
Cultural Context and Delivery
Ahmed delivers her message with a mix of humor and seriousness, acknowledging the sensitive nature of her topic by mentioning she's "whispering because I’m in an official place." Her use of Nigerian Pidgin English phrases like "F$CK am wetin no good today" adds cultural authenticity to her message while making it more relatable to her audience.
The video was shared on the popular Linda Ikeji blog platform, indicating it has reached a broad Nigerian audience and sparked discussions about marital dynamics, gender roles, and sexual expectations within Nigerian marriages.
