A businesswoman has stated that the prevalence of troubled marriages is largely due to the excessive focus on molding women while men are left without guidance. She made this comment in response to Pastor Enoch A. Adeboye's advice that men should not marry a woman who cannot cook.
Roberta Edu, a married mother of two, emphasized that the emphasis needs to be redirected from women to men. She noted that there is an abundance of marriageable women because they have been groomed for marriage from childhood. In contrast, she argued that boys are often allowed to behave as they please without similar expectations.
She wrote: "As long as society and the church refuse to raise men, but instead keep pounding on women, we will continue to see the same outcomes. We will have better marriages and stronger communities if religious centers stop pounding on women and instead focus on men."
Edu pointed out that in Nigeria, there is a surplus of marriageable women but not enough marriageable men, despite the higher male population. She explained that an average woman is raised for marriage by her home, community, and church, while an average man is left to roam without ethics or real teaching on what marriage entails.
She highlighted the disparity by referencing crime statistics abroad, noting that the ratio of men to women jailed for crimes shows that if it were left to women, Nigeria would not have a bad image. She mentioned that in recent weeks, over six men have been jailed abroad for serious crimes, unlike in Nigeria where many crimes go unpunished.
Edu argued that continuing to do the wrong thing will not yield better results. She stated that as long as society and the church refuse to raise men and instead keep focusing on women, the same outcomes will persist, including rising divorce rates, crimes, and marital problems.
She conducted a small survey of 20 men and 20 women, finding that 18 women knew how to cook, while only 4 men did. She concluded that as a survival skill, men should be pressured to learn cooking, not women. Anyone insisting that women must learn to cook is ignoring the future and failing to recognize Nigeria's challenges.
She concluded that there are far too many untrained, unrefined, unstructured, and uncultured men roaming the streets, who feel entitled to everything, including women's bodies. Her final message was: "Fix the men, and leave the women alone."
