Against the backdrop of rising concerns over unhealthy relationships and domestic abuse, an author and gender equality advocate, Chinwe Enyinna, has urged women and girls to make informed choices when selecting life partners, stressing the need to recognise warning signs and seek support when faced with abusive situations.
Enyinna disclosed this during the launch and soirée of her book, My Garden of Thorny Roses, in Lagos, where speakers emphasised self-awareness, healing and informed decision-making as key to building healthier relationships and overcoming emotional setbacks.
Book Inspired by Personal Experiences
The author explained that the book was inspired by her personal experiences and encounters with women struggling in unhealthy and abusive relationships. According to her, many young women seek guidance on choosing the right partners and identifying red flags in relationships, but often lack access to honest conversations that could help them make better decisions.
“Coming from Nigeria and seeing the challenges many women face in their relationships, I realised there was the need to document my story. Many girls are asking questions about choosing the right partner and identifying red flags, but not enough people are willing to have those conversations with them.”
The author lamented that society often places greater emphasis on weddings and preparations while paying little attention to the realities and responsibilities of marriage itself. She urged young women to ask important questions, assess the character of prospective partners, ensure they share similar values and determine whether they are aligned in life goals before making long-term commitments.
Enyinna also advised women facing abuse to seek support despite societal pressure and fear of judgment.
Voices of Support
Also speaking, motivational speaker and author, Bola Matel-Okoh, described the book as a platform for inspiring women to transform painful experiences into purposeful lives. She noted that personal stories possess the power to inspire hope and courage, reminding people that difficult experiences should not define their future. According to her, women facing abuse and life challenges should view setbacks as stepping stones rather than permanent failures.
A special guest at the event, Dr Abiola Salami, described the book launch as an opportunity for emotional healing and self-reflection, stressing that vulnerability remains the first step toward recovery. Reflecting on the title of the book, Salami said roses symbolised beauty, aspirations and hope, especially in marriage, while thorns represented the inevitable pains and challenges that accompanied life and relationships.
He said true healing begins when individuals acknowledge their pain and courageously confront their disappointments, hurts and mistakes. “Vulnerability is the first step toward healing because it enables individuals to confront their challenges and recover from hurts, disappointments and personal mistakes,” he said. Salami added that meaningful transformation often begins when people accept difficult realities and choose to rebuild from them.
The event also featured conversations around self-awareness, resilience and the importance of making informed relationship decisions, with participants agreeing that empathy and support remain critical for individuals navigating personal and marital challenges.
