Nollywood actor Deyemi Okanlawon has opened up about his approach to emotional struggles, revealing that his wife is not the first person he contacts when life becomes overwhelming. Instead, he prioritizes his therapist and mentors, underscoring the importance of a structured support system for men.
Why Deyemi chooses therapist and mentors first
During a recent interview discussing men's mental health, emotional resilience, and support systems, Deyemi explained that society often expects men to absorb pressure and protect those around them. 'First of all, I am a man and we are built to chest things. If you punch a man, he has the ability to absorb that punch. My job is to protect the people around me. If gbegbe happens here now, the chances are I'm going to step in front. It's what needs to happen. There's no excuse,' he said.
Despite that belief, the actor stressed that men should never be discouraged from seeking help or finding healthy ways to process their emotions. He has intentionally built a support system that includes a therapist and trusted mentors, who are usually the first people he contacts when facing personal challenges. 'I have people that if I'm going through the worst times that I can talk to. I have a therapist on speed dial. I have my mentors on speed dial,' Deyemi revealed.
His wife as the last line of defense
Deyemi then explained that while his wife, Damilola, remains one of his biggest sources of strength, he does not immediately take his burdens to her because he is conscious of everything she is already handling. 'When the thing is now too hard, there's my wife. You see, she's not the first. She's the last. Because she's dealing with her own, dealing with raising the family. I'm looking at what's going on outside. I'm quiet. I'm trying to handle stuff. If the thing hit me too much, I'll just wake up in the middle of the night, 'Madam, I can't deal with this one. Help me,'' he shared.
The actor married Damilola in 2013 after the two met while studying Chemical Engineering at the University of Lagos. The couple have three sons together. Over the years, Deyemi has repeatedly spoken about the role his wife has played in his life and career. In an earlier interview, he credited her with encouraging him to pursue acting professionally after recognizing his passion for the craft.
Online reactions and broader impact
His comments have sparked conversations online, with many agreeing on the importance of therapy and support systems for men, while others argued that spouses should be the first point of emotional support in a marriage. Deyemi's approach highlights the growing recognition of mental health resources tailored to men, who often face societal pressure to remain stoic.
The actor has also continued to make strides internationally. Last year, he shared his excitement after meeting Hollywood star Denzel Washington at the Toronto International Film Festival during the premiere of 'The Piano Lesson.' He also gave fans a glimpse of the Hollywood Hills home where he stayed while preparing for his Hollywood debut, describing the milestone as a dream that reflected years of hard work and perseverance.
