Pastor Bisi Adewale, a renowned Nigerian marriage counsellor, has offered a fresh perspective on a husband's primary responsibility in marriage. Speaking at a recent Christian programme, he told men that their first duty is not to love their wives but to serve as the priest and spiritual head of the family.
Spiritual Leadership Over Romance
Pastor Adewale emphasised that a man must first build a strong relationship with God, which then becomes the foundation for genuine love, care, and provision at home. He warned that without spiritual leadership, love in marriage can become selfish and demanding.
“All men in the house, please listen to this. The first duty of a man in marriage is not to provide. The first duty of a man in marriage is not to love his wife. The first duty of a man in marriage is to be a priest of the family,” he stated.
The Danger of Love Without God
The clergyman cautioned that love without God quickly becomes destructive, as it lacks the guidance of righteousness. “It is not about loving your wife. If you love your wife without loving God, very soon you will be wicked to that woman because you won’t even know how to love her, because your love will be selfish love, demanding love. Very soon you are going to hurt her deeply,” he added.
Quoting scripture, Adewale reminded his audience that the Bible teaches believers to seek God first, after which everything else, including marriage, will be added. “That's why the Bible says, seek ye first the kingdom of God and his words and his righteousness, and everything every other thing shall be added. Marriage is other thing to be added,” he said.
Mixed Reactions Online
The pastor's advice sparked varied opinions on social media. Some users supported his view, while others criticised it as contradictory to biblical teachings on love.
- @Shittu2050: “Where is the Lie. Many lack knowledge and understanding because all you dwell in is the flesh and it’s vanity. God first in everything, your wife can still leave you but God will never. In fact if you love God first, you will certainly love your wife right and beautifully.”
- @Iam_D_JAI: “You being a priest as a man or husband isn't to 'love' the wife... It's for you to stay in your throne... Not to love a woman... If she isn't aligned as a woman or be a wife in submission, alignment and devotion... You can 'move on' even if married... It's just a beautiful paradox.”
- @Abikebikelalala: “Lol. Doesn't the Bible say love your wife as I have loved the church? Pastor came with his own interpretation. Pastor does not know what love is. If you truly love someone, you won't be selfish or hurt that person.”
- @AmgbapuRut69274: “We get to hear different versions everyday. Which one do we actually follow? This discredits what the Bible says about men loving their wives. Contradictory teachings can be somewhat confusing. There is no one voice anymore.”
The debate continues as netizens weigh in on the role of spiritual leadership versus romantic love in marriage.
