A woman who had sworn off marriage after a traumatic first experience has shared why her second marriage has endured and brought her happiness, despite her husband having no money. In a heartfelt account, she described her first marriage of over five years as 'silent hell' and said she lost trust in men and marriage entirely.
From Despair to Hope
After her first marriage ended, the woman, identified only as Yemi, said she did not believe in marriage again. She spent three years selling bread under the harsh Lagos sun and rain, enduring swollen feet and a dry throat. Colleagues urged her to find a boyfriend, but she refused, saying, 'If marriage is now the certificate people are using to enter Jannah, then let Allah Himself hold that certificate. I don’t want a man. I don’t trust marriage again.'
Then she met her second husband, Adebayo. At the time, he was also broken and fighting personal battles. But she noted, 'He never made me carry his pain. He never said, “I’m suffering, so you should suffer too.”'
A Simple Beginning
The couple had no big wedding, no Asoebi, no Owambe. Only her mother, senior brother, senior sister, and her mother’s junior sister were present. They performed the Owori ceremony, and she packed her things and moved into his house. 'That was it,' she said.
From day one, he proved himself. When she was pregnant with their first child, AbdulSamad, her body was weak due to a five-year gap between children. He would drop everything to carry her to the hospital, travel to Lagos to buy her slippers, pants, and gowns.
Mercy Over Money
She emphasized that money is not everything. During her periods, when she was bleeding and weak, he would wash her clothes himself. He cooked, fetched water, and cleaned—tasks her ex’s family had said no man should do. 'He did it because he has the fear of Allah,' she said.
When AbdulSamad was five or six months old, she told Adebayo she had never seen the beach. With no money, he bought six yards of Ankara cloth for matching outfits, and they took a crowded commercial bus to the beach. They had no money for chairs, rides, or food. They just stood, two people with a baby, looking at the water. Before leaving, they took a picture. 'If you saw my face in that picture, you would think I was a billionaire’s wife. Because for the first time in years, I was genuinely happy. Not because of money. Because of peace.'
A Message to Women
She concluded, 'Money can finish. Clothes will tear. House can scatter. But a man who will wash your period blood, carry you to hospital with no money, and still take you to see water when his pocket is empty—that is rizq. That is mercy. That is a man.'
Her advice to women: 'Marry a man with mercy first. Because money will leave you, but mercy will carry you.'
