Francis Ushie, a Nigerian man who resigned from his banking job to reunite with his wife and four children in Canada, says he has been separated from his children for more than 11 years. He arrived in Calgary in November 2014, but his wife had blocked him and refused to reveal their address, leaving him with no option but to return to Nigeria.
A Plan for a Fresh Start
Ushie explained that his marriage was already struggling with issues such as infidelity when the family received Canadian permanent residency. Instead of giving up, he believed that leaving Nigeria might offer a chance to rebuild their relationship.
“I was married to a lady from Oboluku in Delta State, and somehow family issues happened. We had a little misunderstanding, problems of infidelity on her own part… So I decided that, OK, maybe when we leave this environment, things will be better for us,” he said.
Journey to Canada Ends in Disappointment
After the family’s permanent residency was approved, Ushie voluntarily resigned from his banking job, expecting to join his wife and children later. However, his former bank required an audit of his position, a process that took almost a year. During this time, his wife and children travelled to Canada ahead of him.
When he finally arrived at Calgary International Airport (YYC) in November 2014, he had no address and no way to locate his family. With a return ticket already in hand, he boarded a flight back to Nigeria. “So somehow, because I had a return ticket to come and do some other things in Nigeria…because I could not locate my wife, I boarded a plane back to Nigeria,” he recounted.
Stranded in Nigeria
Ushie had hoped to return to Canada using compensation he expected from the Lagos State Government for the demolition of his house. He planned to use the money to start a business that would let him operate between Nigeria and Canada, but that plan also failed. “When I got to Nigeria, I also got stranded here,” he said, adding that he has remained in that situation since 2016.
Over the years, he lost contact with his children, as his wife stopped them from communicating with him. He now relies on emails and occasional responses, with one son sometimes taking three, four, or even five months to read an email.
Seeking Contact with His Children
Reconciliation with his wife is no longer his priority. “I cannot force her,” he said. “As the saying goes, you can take your horse to the river, but you cannot force that horse to drink from that river.”
He is considering escalating the matter to Canadian authorities to regain communication with his children. “I'm still considering maybe I should write to the Canadian government to let them know that this is what has happened. I'm still considering so many options,” he said.
Ushie emphasized the sacrifices he made, including paying for passports, flights, and about two years’ rent abroad, to argue that he is not an irresponsible father. “I’m not an irresponsible father,” he insisted.
More than a decade later, his only desire is to speak to his children and remind them that he did not abandon them. “I think in the marriage, there is nothing like irreconcilable differences,” he said. “All differences can be reconciled if the two are willing.” The marriage remains broken, the family is thousands of kilometres apart, and Ushie continues to wait for a way back into his children’s lives.
