John Adesogan, a married man, has sparked debate by declaring that marriage generally favours men more than women, warning women against desperation to wed. He stated that beyond providing financially, the primary expectation of men in marriage is to "donate sperm," while women bear the brunt of birthing, raising children, and often sharing financial burdens.
Adesogan's Argument on Gender Imbalance in Marriage
In a Facebook post, Adesogan said he tried to have a civil discussion about who benefits more from marriage between a man and a woman. He noted that in some homes, the husband does more to keep the home running, but in other homes, the wife makes all the sacrifices. He admitted he would not have married if he were a woman, considering how marriage takes so much from women.
Adesogan recounted a comment from another man who argued that marriage takes more from men because marital stress makes them sick, sometimes leading to early death. Adesogan disagreed, stating, "For my gender, only lack of money worries the majority of us. Unfortunately, it is not so for women."
Health Risks and Pregnancy Complications Highlighted
Adesogan detailed numerous health complications associated with pregnancy and childbirth that women face, including pre-eclampsia, which can damage the kidneys, liver, brain, and other organs; postpartum haemorrhage, which can cause shock or death within hours if untreated; and placental abruption, which can cause severe bleeding. He also listed gestational diabetes, maternal sepsis, obstructed labour, ectopic pregnancy, birth tears, and uterine rupture.
He shared personal anecdotes, saying, "I know a woman that became deaf after giving birth. I've heard of a woman that went blind after having prolonged labour. I've even seen a woman that went mad after a complicated labour, a condition called postpartum psychosis. She was still trying to look after her baby in that condition."
Warning Against Desperation and Advice for Women
Adesogan advised women to ensure they can take care of themselves before marrying, warning against presenting themselves as a charity case. He wrote, "Make sure you are an asset and not a liability. Make sure you can survive independently. The reason is so you don't get stuck when the marriage is not worth it."
He noted that many mothers stayed in toxic marriages because they lacked a life outside marriage and could not feed themselves. He urged women to find a man who knows the worth of a woman and is intentional about pouring himself into the marriage beyond just giving money. "If you cannot find an intentional man, I'd be honest with you, you're better off single. Don't complicate things for yourself," he concluded.
