In the modern dating landscape of 2026, traditional courtship with clear labels, dinners, and anniversaries often feels like a relic of the past. Gloria Adesanya, in her analysis published on January 16, 2026, observes that the phrase "Let's see where it goes" has become a common refrain, replacing defined romantic pursuits. Factors like work stress, the influence of dating apps, and past emotional wounds have led many to seek refuge in ambiguous connections, mistakenly believing them to be safer and more convenient.
Defining the Modern Ambiguity: Situationship vs. FWB
The core distinction between a situationship and a friends with benefits (FWB) arrangement lies not merely in the activities but in the underlying emotional attachment and unspoken expectations. While both lack formal commitment, their foundations and emotional climates are markedly different.
A situationship often mimics the texture of a real relationship. You may text daily, spend significant time together, and even integrate into each other's social circles, yet the crucial element of a committed label is absent. Attempts to define the relationship ("What are we?") are typically met with avoidance, vague philosophical answers, or even ghosting. This setup is frequently born from a romantic or sexual attraction that never solidifies into mutual commitment.
In contrast, a classic friends with benefits scenario is usually more transparent. It is built upon a pre-existing friendship, with both parties agreeing to incorporate "no-strings-attached" physical intimacy. The mutual understanding explicitly excludes romantic entanglement and future planning. Key pillars of a FWB setup include no emotional dependence, avoidance of couple-like behavior, and a ban on future talk. It is designed to be casual and drama-free, though it often becomes the foundation for a friends-to-lovers transition when feelings develop.
Key Differences: Emotional Depth, Communication, and Boundaries
Understanding the practical distinctions can prevent significant heartache. Here is a breakdown of the primary differences:
Emotional Depth & Expectations: A situationship is characterized by an emotional connection and often, a hidden hope for romance, making it undefined and anxiety-inducing. An FWB arrangement is founded on emotional detachment with clearer, mutually agreed-upon boundaries.
Communication Style: Communication in a situationship tends to be confusing, inconsistent, and can mirror the daily, emotional patter of a relationship. FWB communication is typically straightforward, logistical, and focused on planning meetups, with limited emotional sharing.
Boundaries and Evolution: Boundaries in a situationship are blurry, especially regarding exclusivity. It can sometimes evolve into a relationship if both parties align. FWB boundaries are more defined (e.g., "no catching feelings", non-exclusive) and the arrangement often ends if feelings develop or life circumstances change.
Are You in a Situationship? Recognizing the Signs
If you are unsure about your relationship status, look for these key indicators of a situationship:
- You act like a couple—celebrating milestones, spending weekends together—but have no official title.
- You or they are actively talking to other people, indicating a lack of seriousness.
- You experience jealousy, anxiety, and uncertainty about where you stand.
- They consistently avoid or deflect conversations about the future of your connection.
- Your interactions consist mostly of hanging out or hooking up, not planned, intentional dates.
- They exhibit hot-and-cold behavior, being affectionate one moment and distant the next.
Navigating Ambiguity: How to Set Healthy Boundaries
Whether you find yourself in a situationship or an FWB setup, managing it with wisdom is crucial for your emotional well-being. Gloria Adesanya recommends the following steps:
1. Conduct a Honest Self-Audit: Be brutally honest with yourself. Are you secretly hoping they will change? Are you tolerating confusion out of fear of being alone? Your own clarity is the first step.
2. Initiate the Defining Conversation: Though awkward, a direct conversation is necessary. Use "I" statements to express your need for clarity: "I've been enjoying our time, but for my own peace of mind, I need to understand what this is for us." Be prepared for any answer and be ready to act if your expectations are mismatched.
3. Establish and Respect Clear Boundaries: Even in an FWB, rules regarding sexual health or protocols for if someone catches feelings are essential. In a situationship, defining exclusivity and communication expectations is key.
4. Prioritize Your Peace and Know When to Exit: Settling for half-love or persistent confusion is draining. If your emotional needs are consistently unmet or the dynamic is causing more pain than joy, have the courage to walk away. Your peace is more valuable than potential.
In the Nigerian context, these undefined relationships can sometimes be influenced by economic pressures, leading to practical cohabitation that feels romantic but is rooted in survival. Whether chosen for convenience, as a low-pressure testing ground, or for simple physical intimacy without emotional labor, understanding the difference between a situationship and friends with benefits is a vital tool for modern dating. If your heart is involved, acknowledge it. You deserve a connection characterized by honesty, direction, and emotional safety.
