Damilola Adegbite Opens Up on Remarriage and Parenting Priorities
Nollywood actress Damilola Adegbite has publicly addressed the reasons behind her decision not to remarry following the end of her first marriage. In a candid video shared on her Instagram page on Thursday, the actress delved into the profound impact that raising her child has had on her perspective toward relationships and partner selection.
Adegbite explained that the topic of remarriage arose during a conversation with a close friend, prompting her to reflect on the unique considerations faced by single parents. "I was having a conversation with a friend of mine, and they asked me a very important question," she recounted. "They asked me why I haven't remarried after my first marriage, and honestly, the answer came to me very easily. It wasn't even something I had to think of."
Parenting Alters Decision-Making in Relationships
The actress emphasized that for single mothers or fathers contemplating remarriage, the decision-making process must fundamentally differ from when they were unattached. "If you're a single mother or a single parent or you're having to raise a child on your own and you're looking to remarry, your decision-making has to be different from when you were single," Adegbite stated. "You're not just choosing a partner for yourself anymore. You are choosing a second parent for your child."
She highlighted a common oversight in relationships, where emotional fulfilment often takes precedence over the welfare of children. Adegbite urged parents to look beyond superficial attractions and assess the character and values of potential partners. "And I feel like a lot of us could be focusing on how this person treats us, how this person makes us feel, how much they love us, how much they show up for us, but we also need to pay attention to how they show up for our children," she advised.
Assessing Morals and Values for a Child's Future
Adegbite elaborated that while she has encountered remarkable men, the critical question extends to their suitability as parental figures. "It's not that I haven't met some amazing men, but there's a deeper question beyond all that. And it is, do they have the morals, the values, the character that I would like my child to grow up around or to be influenced by?" she questioned.
She stressed that selecting a partner as a parent requires meticulous thought about the child's long-term well-being, rather than being driven solely by personal emotions. "You have to be sure that the person you're bringing into your life and into your child's life or your children's life is capable of being a good parent," Adegbite asserted. "Someone who would treat your child like theirs, so much so that if a stranger walked into a room where the three of you or all of you were, they would never for once doubt that your children were your partner's biological children."
The actress cautioned against hasty decisions, reminding parents of their responsibility to build a stable home. "It's not a decision that you should make carelessly. You cannot be so caught up in your feelings that you do not think about your child's needs, because at the end of the day, you're not just building a relationship, you are building a home," she said. "So if you are in this position, a man or a woman, choose wisely, not just for you, but for the life you are creating for your child or your children."
Background on Adegbite's Marriage to Chris Attoh
Damilola Adegbite was previously married to Ghanaian actor Chris Attoh, with whom she shares a son. The couple got engaged in 2014, welcomed their son later that year, and married on February 14, 2015, in a private ceremony in Accra, Ghana. Their marriage ended in 2017 after months of speculation, with Attoh confirming the separation and praising Adegbite as "a wonderful woman and an amazing mother," pledging to co-parent their child with love and support.
In a 2021 interview, Adegbite reflected on the failed marriage without regret, stating that it taught her valuable lessons about relationships. "It didn't work. I learned a massive lesson from that experience and it is that love is not enough," she explained. "When you meet somebody and you want to spend the rest of your life with them, love is just one of the qualities that you need, but it's not everything."
She challenged societal perceptions of marital failure, noting, "a failed marriage is not the tragedy people make it out to be. Not every marriage is ordained by God." Adegbite added that she gave her best effort in the marriage and has since dedicated herself to raising her son, acknowledging the challenges of parenting, such as balancing honesty with age-appropriate explanations. "I know how to manoeuvre my way through, but it's hard to be able to strike a balance between the truth and what he needs to know," she admitted.
