A man in New Jersey is facing charges of attempted murder, terroristic threats, and other offenses after allegedly driving eight hours to his ex-girlfriend's home, threatening to kill her and her family following a breakup.
Incident Details
Prosecutors in Ocean County, New Jersey, report that 37-year-old Brian Lanzim, a former firefighter and EMT, had two firearms, a bulletproof vest, and 15 large-capacity magazines in his trunk when he drove from his home in Maine to South Toms River, New Jersey, on April 29.
Upon arrival, he was confronted by police and shot by an officer as he attempted to enter the home. Assistant Prosecutor Mara Brater stated during a hearing on May 8, 2026, that Lanzim was prepared for a violent confrontation.
Threats and Messages
According to the Asbury Park Press, Lanzim embarked on the trip after his former girlfriend, with whom he shares two children, ended their relationship via FaceTime. During the call, Lanzim allegedly told his ex, “You don't know crazy yet.” The woman reported hearing the sound of a gun clicking during the conversation.
After the woman threatened to contact police, Lanzim sent threatening text messages, including: “If your father is there, I'm going to have to take him out,” and “If you stand between me and my kids, I'm going to do what I need to do.” He also threatened to leave her father “pulseless in the driveway.” Additionally, he allegedly told her, “If I can't have you, no one can.”
Legal Proceedings
The woman obtained a temporary restraining order. Police then waited for Lanzim at the New Jersey home, where he was shot in the pelvis and hand by an officer. According to an affidavit, after being shot, Lanzim could be heard yelling that he “lost her” and “tell her and the boys I love her.”
Lanzim was taken to the hospital for treatment and later booked into the Ocean County Jail on May 4. Prosecutors believe he intended to kill or seriously harm his ex's family to gain custody of their children. They allege Lanzim had been “spiraling out of control” since March, when he lost the job he had moved to Maine for in September.
Defense and Charges
Lanzim's defense attorney argues that Lanzim, who has bipolar disorder and was receiving psychiatric treatment in Maine, was experiencing a severe mental health crisis triggered by the breakup. Lanzim faces three counts of attempted murder, two counts of possession of a weapon for an unlawful purpose, two counts of unlawful possession of a weapon, unlawful use of body armor, burglary, terroristic threats, and 22 counts of possession of large capacity ammunition magazines. He is being held without bond.
